| |
 Ms CYPRAH
ELAINE SIHERA (nicknamed Ms CYPRAH or Cyber-Oprah by friends , Emotional Health and Wellbeing Adviser and Diversity Management Consultant, is a British writer, media contributor, internet agony aunt and columnist
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, you can forget betrayal, but the time it takes depends on a number of factors, especially the love we feel for that person, and our desire for genuine reconciliation. If the love is deep and reciprocal, then any betrayal is devastating and the time it takes to forget it will be very long.
However, if the feelings aren't really there, or we take the partner for granted, infidelity might hurt but it is not as painful, though the sense of rejection and inadequacy will still be strong. At times like these, it is mainly one's ego which has been damaged and so the pain is soon healed. Where there is a lot of trust and love, it is far more difficult to forget infidelity because one's trust has been betrayed. It will take a while to forget the deed, but it does go in the end, if one lets it.
Purely for our benefit, we have to learn to forgive and forget. If we keep thinking about it, rehashing it, dwelling on it, then we haven't forgiven that person. We have merely used words to make ourself feel better. When we truly forgive, we don't even want to think about the event any more because we wish to move away from its cruel reminder. We will also accept that everything good or bad helped to make us what we are.
<b>Being Liberated</b>
When I left my home, I blamed my ex for everything that had happened. I felt very hurt, angry and vengeful. A couple years down the line, after much reflection and self education, I totally forgave him and just wanted to be friends with him. Whatever happened between us has receded well into the background. I no longer feel the need to even mention the negatives because being positive, healthy and forward looking is more important to me than going back there reliving things I cannot change. It really is a fantastic liberating feeling.
So, rather than living in constant reminder of betrayal, we should give thanks for coming through it and being even stronger for it. We should learn from it and be ready for the next stage of our life. Hanging back in the past robs us of a present and a future and, while any hurt is painful, if we do not forgive and forget it, we will be affected by it for as long as we allow it. |
Main Categories
Visitor's Comments !
